The Miracle Drugs Abroad


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Ech one is mircle drug in its own right nd I hvent met n mericn tourist yet who isnt willing to shre his medicines with less fortunte people who live brod. “I hve just the thing for you†the hostess sid. It doesnt mke you s sleepy nd you only hve to tke two every four hours. I hve bottle t the hotel nd if you stop by Ill give you some.



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Навчально-виховний комплекс   Дитячий садок-школа-гімназія  № 12   м. Коростень

The Miracle Drugs Abroad

(Different  kinds of exercises on the story “The Miracle Drugs Abroad” by Art Buchwald for the home-reading lesson on the topic Health and Body Care)

Вчитель англійської мови

Ткаченко Н. Б.

The Miracle Drugs Abroad*

by Art Buchwald

   Some time ago the American boss of a friend of mine told the friend, “ I admire you people who live abroad. You don’t take pills. In America we’re always taking a pill for something or other. We’re becoming a nation of hypochondriacs. But you people here don’t depend on pills.”

    My friend agreed. “We can’t get any.” Well, it was a good story, but not necessarily true. The majority of Americans coming to Europe are weighed down with every imaginable medication prescribed by family doctors. Each one is a miracle drug in its own right, and I haven’t met an American tourist  yet who isn’t willing to share his medicines with less fortunate people who live abroad.

    Just recently I had the occasion to see how many Americans will come to the aid of their fellow men. It started off when I complained at a dinner party of having a sore throat.

    “I have just the thing for you,” the hostess said. “It’s Slipawhizdrene. You take one every two hours.”

    One of the guest said, “Slipawhizdrene is outdated. My doctor gave me Heventizeal. It doesn’t make you as sleepy, and you only have to take two every four hours.”

    “I left the United States two weeks after you did,” another woman said, ”and  Heventizeal has been superseded by Deviltizeal. I have a bottle at the hotel, and if you stop by I’ll give you some.”

    The only Frenchman at the table said, ”Why don’t you gargle with aspirin?’

    The people at the dinner couldn’t have been more shocked if he had said a four-letter word. The Frenchman’s American wife was so embarrassed she almost broke into tears.

    He looked around helplessly. “But did I say wrong?”

    The husband of the hostess tried to smooth things over.  “You see, Rene, in America we have gone beyond aspirin. You French believe in food; we believe in miracle drugs.”

    “They’re all barbarians,” muttered one of the Americans.

    After dinner I stopped at the hotel and picked up an envelope of Deviltizeal. I took two before I went to bed. At four in the morning I no longer had my sore throat, but I was violently sick to my stomach. I remained in this state until morning. I had a luncheon date with a Hollywood producer, but I couldn’t eat anything.

    “I’ve got just the thing for an upset stomach. It’s called Egazzakine. Here, take one now, and one at four o’clock.”

    I took the proffered pill, and in a half-hour my stomach settled. Only now, my eyes started to run, and I began sneezing.

    Making my way blindly to the office, I ran into another American friend in front of the Lancaster Hotel. He recognized the symptoms immediately. ‘You’ve probably got an allergy. Come upstairs and I’ll give you something for it.”

    We went up to his room, and he took out a leather case filled with various bottles.

    “Let’s see,” he said, reading from a slip of paper. “The yellow-and –black ones are for jaundice, the green-and-blue ones are for pneumonia, the white-and-red ones are for rheumatism, the pink-and-beige ones are heart trouble – oh, yes, the brown-and-purple are for allergies. Here, take two now, and two at four o’clock.”

   “But,” I protested. “I’ve got to take the Egazzakine at four o’clock.”

    “Don’t do it,” he warned. ”That’s what you’re probably allergic to.”

    I took the brown-and-purple capsules and went to the office. In about an hour,my tear ducts had dried up and I stopped sneezing.

    I felt perfectly well, except I couldn’t move my left arm. I reported this to my friend at the Lancaster, who said, “The doctor warned me it happens sometimes. He gave me something else in case it did. I’ll send it over with the bellboy.”

The bellboy brought over some orange-and-cerise tablets. I took two, and it wasn’t long before I could lift my arm again. That evening during dinner I discovered I had my sore throat back. But I didn’t mention it to a soul.

* from the Englisg Learner’s Digest # 1     2008

  1.  Give the Ukrainian equivalents to the following word-combinations:

a friend of mine

to live abroad

to depend on

every imaginable medication

almost break onto tears

to smooth things over

until morning

an upset stomach

making the way blindly to the office

to recognize immediately

a leather case

somebody’s tear ducts dried up

to feel perfectly well

to lift the arm

to have a sore throat back

  1.  Give the English  equivalents to the following word combinations and sentences:

сімейний лікар

чудодійні ліки

за обідом


Я не міг нічого їсти.

У мене більше не боліло горло.

через півгодини

зіткнутися з

Ось на що можливо у тебе алергія.

Я припинив чихати.

Я не міг ворухнути рукою.

щось іще

того вечора

під час обіду

Я не сказав про це нікому.

  1.  Complete the table:





Brown-and-purple pills

Orange-and-cerise pills

How to use

two pills before going to bed


running eyes, sneezing

  1.  Answer the questions in no more than 3 words. There is an example at the beginning ( 0).

  1.  What are the majority of Americans weighed down with? _____every   imaginable                         medication
  2.  What did Frenchman suggest to gargle the throat with? ____________________
  3.  What do Americans believe in?      ____________________________________
  4.  What do French believe in?    ________________________________________
  5.  Who did the character have a luncheon date with? ________________________
  6.  What did the bellboy bring?   ________________________________________ 

  1.  Complete the questions:

  1.  You don’t take pills, …?
  2.  We’re becoming a nation of hypochondriac, …?
  3.  My friend agreed, …?
  4.  It was a good story, …?
  5.  It doesn’t make you as sleepy, …?
  6.  I left the USA two weeks ago, …?
  7.  He looked around helplessly  …?
  8.  We believe in miracle drugs, …?
  9.  I couldn’t eat anything, …?
  10.  We went up to his room, …?
  11.  I’ll send it over with the bellboy, …?
  12.  I didn’t mention it to a soul, …?

  1.  Write out the sentences in the Passive Voice

  1.  Match the words. Make up sentences using the word-combinations

leather                                                 medication

imaginable                                          man

miracle                                                stomach

fortunate                                            case

fellow                                                 drug

upset                                                  throat

sore                                                    people

  1.  Complete the sentences inserting: by, for,  in, of, on, to,  with

Americans are always taking pills … something or other. Americans are becoming a nation … hypochondriacs. But people … Europe don’t depend … pills. The majority of Americans coming … Europe are weighed down … every imaginable medication prescribed … family doctor. Each one is a miracle drug … its own right, it’s difficult … meet an American tourist who isn’t willing to share medicines … less fortunate people who live abroad.

  1.  Express your opinion in a written form

  1.  Do you like the idea of taking all medicines you’ve been suggested? Why? Why not?
  2.  Do you think the text can illustrate the proverb ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’? Why? Why not?
  3.  Do you follow your friend’s advice? What would you do in such a situation?  

ROLEPLAY.    Dramatize the talk at the dinner party. You  may use the following cues:

I have a sore throat.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  - - -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  

I have just the thing for you. It’s Slipawhizdrene. You take one every two hours.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Slipawhizdrene is outdated. My doctor gave me Heventizeal. It doesn’t make you as sleepy, and you only have to take two every four hours.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -   -  -  -  -  - -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

I left the United States two weeks after you did. And Heventizeal has been superseded by Deviltizeal. I have a bottle at the hotel, and if you stop by I’ll give you some.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Why didn’t you gargle with aspirin?

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

But did I say wrong?

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  - -  -  -  -  -  

You see, Rene, in America we have gone beyond aspirin. You French believe in food; we believe in miracle drugs.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -   

They’re all barbarians.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -


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